Sex education for teenagers

Experts say it is easier to pass information on sex education to boys than to girls. Therefore, if your daughter has attained puberty, you should not hesitate to discuss sex with her.

During puberty, many adolescents turn to their friends and the media for the answers to their questions. And most of the time, they get the wrong answers. You may be surprised to learn that they always wish they could ask their own parents the same questions rather than to turn to their peers.

Besides, failure on the part of parents to talk about puberty and sex does not make the potential problems go away. By the time they clock 10 years, about 49 per cent of adolescents admit that they have had sex. The margin increases to 79 per cent by the time they grow older.

Talking about sex with your teenage child will not necessarily make him or her to explore his or her sexuality. In fact, studies have shown that an open discussion on sex can help to prevent unwanted teenage pregnancy. Do not think it is one big, difficult conversation. Instead, you should see it as a continuous conversation that should last throughout the period of adolescence.

Do not shove more content into the discussion than they can absorb and process. Tell them what they need to learn in snippets and give them enough time to think about it before inviting them to ask questions. Encourage them to share details about their life with you, no matter how embarrassing they are.

Although starting the conversation with the girls may require some tact on your part, you can let her know that you are not sure if she has started puberty and sex education in school or seen her monthly period. The truth is that many teenagers hide this fact from their parents. And many parents are unaware of how much sexual exposure their children have gained.

As you talk to them, note the changes in the bodies of the girls. The first sign of puberty is evident in the development of the breasts. As this continues, growth can be uneven. On the other hand, for most boys, development is reflected by changes in their voices and tufts of hair in their armpits.

As their breasts develop, the girls grow bigger and their hips become wider. Your daughter may be visibly worried that she is gaining weight, but explain that she is just gearing up for a growth spurt. Girls need healthy weight gain during this stage in their lives. Take care not to make them feel the pressure to diet. Remember that how you feel about yourself will be reflected in how your daughter views herself. So be mindful about what you are communicating about her body and image. For the boys, there may not be obvious changes in weight. But they may just grow taller with long bones.

Today, most Nigerian girls begin to observe their monthly periods before their 13th birthday. About 90 per cent of them get to this stage by the time they are 14 years old and 98 per cent by the age of 15. While some can’t wait to start their periods, others may be frightened or anxious. To add to their anxiety, many girls don’t have a complete understanding of their reproductive system or what actually happens during the menstrual cycle.

Tell your teenage daughter how long a period normally lasts and how often they occur. Tell her that her menstrual flow will likely last for seven days or less. Her period may be irregular for the first few years. Once their menstrual cycle becomes regular, most girls see their period every 25 to 30 days. Some get them as frequently as every 21 days or as infrequently as every 45 days. Let her know what to expect.

With boys, the testosterone gushes out fast with much pressure, thereby making them to be aware of their sexuality. This testosterone sometimes causes them to experience night emissions. This is the natural way in which the body regulates the level of semen and sperm cells in their scrotum. Please note that night emission is not the same thing as wet dreams. While night emission is done without any human effort or assistance, wet dreams are the results of sexual fantasy.

You can tell your daughter that during her menstrual period, hormones can cause nausea, cramping, and diarrhea. Talk to her about sanitary products. Explain the different options and discuss the pros and cons of each one. Show her how to use them.

Talk to the girl about the odors and discharges between periods. Explain to her that it is normal for fluid to be discharged through her sex organ as a way of cleansing itself naturally. Teach her to wipe from front to back after using the bathroom to avoid vaginal or bladder infections. Caution your daughter against using feminine sprays.

To be continued.

Teenage girl faces public flogging for pre-marital sex

A court in the Maldives has ordered a public flogging for a 16-year-old girl who confessed to having pre-marital sex, in a ruling that Tuesday triggered widespread criticism from rights groups.

The unnamed teenager was convicted on her confession under sharia law after her family complained she had sex with a 29-year-old man in July.

The man was given 10 years in jail during a court hearing on the remote Raa atoll on Sunday.

A court official said the girl could refuse the flogging and would then instead be subjected only to eight months house arrest. Should she agree, the lashing will be carried out when she reaches the age of 18.

"In most cases, the offenders would accept the lashing as part of penance," the official, who declined to be named, said.

The ruling came 10 months after UN human rights chief Navi Pillay urged the Maldives to stop publicly flogging women for having extra-marital or pre-marital sex.

Pillay noted during a visit that the Maldives had progressed in safeguarding the rights of its 330,000 Sunni Muslims, but more needed to be done to protect women.

Flogging, carried out with a cane, is normally handed down as a punishment by village chiefs who also act as local judges.

Rights activists slammed the judgment and called for it to be overturned.

"Degrading and inhuman punishments should find no place in a democracy," said Aruna Kashyap, women's rights researcher for Asia at Human Rights Watch.

"Maldives should immediately halt the execution of the punishment and take action to amend its discriminatory laws."

Suhas Chakma, director of the Asian Centre for Human Rights, said the sentence reflected the government's intention to consolidate its support among sharia law followers, in the face of serious political opposition.

"This could be used by the government to say they're committed to Islam," he said. "Courts are not independent in the Maldives so the government will have a hand."

He said the lashes were also a breach of the UN Convention against Torture.

There were mixed reactions in comments posted on the local news website Minivan News.

"This is ridiculous, and hypocritical," said one reader, identified as Mariyam.

"How many people over the age of 18 are having sex outside of marriage every day in this country. Why not flog them. And why not flog the 29-year-old man. If the girl has to face public humiliation why not the man."

Another, identified as Dhivehi Hanguraama, volunteered to administer the lashing.

"I myself would volunteer to whip this creature, as would any of self-respecting, esteemed, members of the ulama (religious scholars)."

Police said they began their probe after receiving a complaint from the girl's family.

"We investigated and forwarded our findings to the prosecutor general. The man was convicted of having sex with a minor," police spokesman Hassan Haneef said.

Official sources said the girl had been tried under sharia law which prohibits girls between the ages of 13 and 18 having pre-marital sex. Sex with a girl under the age of 13 is considered rape.

She was convicted on the basis of her confession.

Her lover, on the other hand, was tried under common law and convicted of having sex with a minor, an offence punishable with a sentence of up to 15 years in prison.

The pair had intercourse on the Raa atoll, about 125 miles north of the capital island Male.

There was no immediate comment from the Maldivian government, which includes the ultra conservative Adhaalath Party, whose supporters follow a strict brand of Wahhabi Islam.

The country's first democratically elected president, the Western-educated Mohamed Nasheed, resigned in February saying he was forced out in a coup backed by Islamic extremists along with elements of the police and the armed forces.

However, a Commonwealth investigation declared last week that the transfer of power was constitutional and ruled out a coup.

Nasheed's fall was followed by the Taliban-style destruction of pre-Islamic era Buddhist statues at the country's main museum.

Original article © Agence France Presse 2012