Friday, October 5, 2012

5 Stereotypes Why Black Guys Prefer White Girls

1. White girls don’t talk back. Put a little aggression in your voice and she will do whatever you say. Black girls always wanna fight. Always.

2. Some Black men hate "sistas". Rather, they hate the stereotype that they box all sistas in. They fall for the stereotype that Black women have nasty dispositions and are always angry so they decide that is brighter on the other side. For some reason, some Black men feel that no other woman in the world has a feisty attitude. Or they may have had experiences dating Black women that were negative in the past and hold on to those experiences and let that be the deciding factor for dating all Black women. Instead of taking it on an individual basis.

3. Some Black men have esteem issues where they subconsciously dislike being Black and therefore purposely seek White women only because on some levels it separates them from their own race. It helps them deal with their own self hate issues with skin complexion and color.

4. White girls are more direct in what they like and want. Black guys like the fact that a lot of the guessing game gets thrown out with white girls.

5. Some Black men are under the impression that white women are more sexually adventurous than Black women. They feel that White women will do things in the bed that most Black women will not. The White woman is the one that will fulfill all of his fantasies without complaint and make it her business to be his little sex freak and keep him happy. While, they assume that a Black woman will be more sexually selfish and unwilling to be as sexually open. Which is far from the truth. Every woman has her own individual sexual appetite and which has more to do with her personally than her race.

On the Obama-Romney debate

The first round of the U.S. Presidential debate has come and gone. There's laughter in Mitt Romney's camp as big bird won the debate fair and square. I have watched the debate a second time and something seems not to be right. I am not saying this because I think Gov Romney is an absolute turd, but because I think President Obama wasn't himself. This could have been as a result of different things. Lots of questions have been running through my mind. Did the stress of the rigorous campaign catch up with him? Was he trying to soft-pedal and make Romney look like a bully? Did he decide to go on a low so as not to strike American voters as the bully? Did he fail to prepare for this debate or did he just imagine Americans would be able to see beyond his unspoken words? All these questions call for answers but the Obama that appeared on that debate wasn't definitely the oratorical Obama.

Gov Mitt Romney hit the ground running and never stopped. He knew he had to put on a good showing, coming from a backlash of the infamous 47% video. He asked questions, looked directly into the camera, had the perfect body language and most importantly during his opening minutes, spoke of the ''sad'' cases of unemployed/underemployed families. He kept emphasizing on that all through the debate. He scored a point with each statement he made. At some point, he seemed to be crying when he spoke of the American economy. His voice became heavy and he looked like he was going to burst into tears the next minute. All that might have been a showoff but the millions of viewers never failed to see a ''Romney they had never seen''. Even President Obama said the man who debated him wasn't the Romney he knew. President Barack Obama on the other hand put up a disappointing show. He seemed to falter and almost couldn't get his points straight. His supporters were expecting the fiery, oratorical Obama of 2008 but what they saw was a sober, lacking-in-confidence Obama. He gave the floor to Romney. A closer look at the President's mien showed he was playing it down and allowing Romney to attack him. He probably wanted Romney to be seen as a bully, but that wasn't a wise move Mr President. He let Romney off the hook on Bain, on the 47% video, on his taxes, on Massachusetts being rated nationally as 47th in education while Romney was governor. He also couldn't almost stare Romney in the face and seemed to pick his answers from invisible points in front of him. That definitely wasn't a good outing. What happened?

The President should know this is really tight. If he wants to win, he needs to literally tear Romney into shreds and make a mincemeat of him in the coming debates. He needs to take the game to him. He needs to showcase why Romney's policies and plans aren't good for America. He needs to convince the voters he's the right man for the job. Thinking the American voters will see beyond his unspoken words might be a terrible mistake. American voters will like to hear what plans there are to fix the economy! It won't be surprising to hear that Gov Romney won over a few Obama voters after his brilliant showing. That's how it works. Romney has been a debater all his life. He does that well but Obama is the one who has the oratorical prowess. A shoddy showing like the first debate again might spell doom for the Obama camp. They sure know better, I guess. Let's all see how the vice-presidential debate between VP Joe Biden and Paul Ryan goes. Maybe the democrats will take it back from there. Whichever way it goes, the elections are just a couple weeks away and the American voters will decide!

The lucrative sperm business in Ghana

Call it whatever you like but people are doing everything to survive the economic meltdown that has besieged many countries of the world. Sperm has become one of the hottest commodities being sold in Ghana and many parts of the world. The target market for this new booming venture are couples suffering from male infertility, l*sbian couples, and single women who pay huge amounts of money to access it.

According to latest reports, sperm has become one of the hottest commodities being sold in Ghana. The target market for this new booming venture are couples suffering from male infertility, lesbian couples, and single women who pay huge amounts of money to access it.

“Selling of sperm is gradually becoming the new business frontier booming in Ghana because it has many uses in today’s society: making babies, sperm banks, and putting volume in limp hair in order to make it long,” a medical student at the University of Ghana Medical School, who sold sperm five times to a Fertility Centre in Accra for GH¢10, 000 ($5,280), told Economic Tribune (ET).

The medical student, who gave his name only as Mensah, said even though selling of sperm was a risky business, it was also rewarding as well.

“I use the proceeds from this business to pay my fees and also support my close pals. Who knows how long I will continue? But whatever happens, I know I can look back on many happy families that I have helped to create,” he stated.

Mrs Naomi Suame, a shop owner at East Legon and many parts of Accra, has been married for 15 years and has two children, none of whom biologically belongs to her husband.

“I discovered my husband was infertile when we got married after two years. But I wanted to experience motherhood. I decided to have artificial insemination. I have never cheated on him. I just got sperm from a willing seller and got two healthy babies. Is that not wonderful?” she asked. In the case of Naomi, she got a young man from the University of Cape Coast, paid him GH¢12,000 ($6,322) and took his sperm, which she used twice to get the babies.

“Sperm is one of the scarce commodities for many of us. There is a high demand for it and many young men are going into this venture selling their sperm to help others, who needs it for one reason or the other,” Naomi explained.

Investigations conducted by ET revealed that due to the huge capital outlay of the process, women have now devised a way of beating the system by getting donors (sperm sellers) whom they take to the Fertility Centres for harvesting at a cheaper cost and then having the sperm induced in their uterus.

What are you thinking? Did you just start planning a trip to Ghana?

American idol turns nasty. Nicki Minaj wants to shoot Mariah Carey

It was no “Idol” threat. Nicki Minaj said she wanted to shoot Mariah Carey on the set of “American Idol” — and Carey felt so frightened that she hired extra security, the “Dreamlover” singer revealed Thursday.

Veteran journalist Barbara Walters said on “The View” that Carey shared the new details about the feud that has roiled — or energized, depending on your perspective — the set of the creaky reality show, now in its 12th year.

“She said that when Nicki walked off the set, multiple people heard Nicki say, ‘If I had a gun I would shoot the b—h,’” Walters relayed.
Several “Idol” staffers, including hairdressers and producers, heard it, too, Carey told Walters.

“She said she’s very concerned,” Walters continued. “She doesn’t feel that anything would happen, but Nicki is unpredictable, and Mariah says she can’t take a chance and she has hired extra security.”

Carey added that Minaj has not apologized for the Tuesday blowup, which centered on a dispute over a contestant’s talent.

But Minaj did tell Carey, “I love you, but we might fight again,” Walters said.

FOX had no comment Thursday. Earlier in the week, an “Idol” producer denied that there had been a death threat.

Minaj’s camp did not respond to requests for comment after Walters aired Carey’s grievances, but she did fire back on Twitter Thursday, suggesting that Walters is no impartial referee in the Battle of the Pop Divas.

“Barbara walters didn’t reach out from our team,” Minaj tweeted. “I guess we’re too dangerous.

“She also added, “I don’t call tmz n Barbara Walters cuz I stand on my own two feet,” she added, referring to a gossip website. “Never needed an army. God is good. Insecurity is as cruel as the grave.”

Later, she ramped up her online assault on Carey.

“I guess it hurts 2 have the producers tell u to ur face that nicki is the best judge we've had since simon,” Minaj added. “Awww, poor u. Keep them lies cmn.”

The alleged threats went down during Tuesday’s “Idol” auditions in Charlotte, N.C.

A camera captured part of the blowout, with video showing Minaj waiving her hands and shouting, “I told them I'm not f—-in' putting up with her f——king highness over there. Figure it the f--k out. Figure it out.”

Carey fought back, but it is unclear what she said.

Minaj also believes “American Idol” producers goaded Carey into starting a smackdown on the talent show’s set, TMZ reported.

Sources connected with Minaj told the site producers and members of Carey’s team are conspiring against her because they think a disgruntled Minaj will bring in viewers.

For all you Art lovers; behold the world's largest painting (by numbers)

This is the largest painting (by numbers) in the world, according to the Guinness World Records and it was painted by Nigerians.






















The painting measured 63.5 m (208 ft 3.99 in) x 49.3 m (161 ft 8.94 in) and was created by 350 volunteers and represents the map of Nigeria, the logo of 350.org in the middle of the map, the flag of Nigeria (green, white, green) which was painted around the map.

The painting was unveiled by the Ecole de Dessin in partnership with Lagos State Government, Nigeria, on 17 November 2010 in celebration of Guinness World Records Day 2010 and also as a means to draw awareness to the issue of climate change in Nigeria.

The painting is up for exhibition at the Methodist Boys High School Victoria Island Lagos from the 1st of October to the 12th of October 2012.

Not all that glitters is gold. Research shows beautiful women could shorten your life span.


A beautiful woman is the envy of many. While being beautiful does have numerous advantages, there are also disadvantages – one of which is being harmful to men’s health. It has long been said that beautiful women are hard on men’s hearts and therefore, getting in contact with them might be harmful to men’s health, raising stress hormones to dangerously high levels, says a new study...

According to the study which was carried out by Spanish researchers, when men are in the presence of a beautiful stranger they view as “out of their league,” the risks are even higher, with cortisol levels rising so high that heart attacks and strokes become real possibilities.

“This is another case of hard science proving the obvious,” said a psychiatrist, Irvin Wolkoff, who was involved with the study.

In carrying out the study, the researchers tested 84 male students by asking each one to sit in a room and solve a Sudoku puzzle. Two strangers, one male and one female, were also in the room.

The outcome of this experiment showed that when the female stranger left the room and the two men remained sitting together, the volunteer’s levels of the stress hormone cortisol did not rise. But, when the volunteer was left alone with the female stranger, his cortisol levels rose, as measured by a saliva swab.

The researchers, also explained that for most men, the presence of an attractive woman may induce the perception that there is an opportunity for courtship.

It all boils down to evolution. Since cavemen days, men have been hardwired so that when they see an attractive woman, their cortisol response kicks in to tell men to seek out that woman for mating purposes, Wolkoff says.

Even though today’s man is sophisticated and enlightened, underneath, when he sees an attractive female, he feels stress about wanting to mate with her, and worrying about whether she might already have a mate or be unresponsive.

“So by definition, sexual encounters are in the same general category as fighting or fleeing. These are stressful situations,” he says.

Wolkoff says there’s nothing wrong with feeling cortisol or andrenaline in small doses. But he says if elevated levels are sustained over extended periods of time, stress can be very unhealthy.

Dr Charles Agadu, a physician explains: “When a man sees a beautiful lady, his cortisol level rises and when the level gets too high it could lead to cardiac problems”.

Cortisol is a one of the hormones secreted by the adrenal glands in the body and this hormone is also called the fright hormone, i.e the hormone that also produces the very well known adrenalin, Agadu said.

Facts have it that when some men spend just 5mins with a beautiful lady, it causes so much stress which is not good for the heart. So for such men ,their anxiety rate will be very high as their cortisol levels will rise even higher .This might cause heart attacks and strokes because exposure to physical and psychological stresses for a long time may chronically increase cortisol levels, Agadu explains further.

Agadu stated however that, cortisol impairs the immune system thereby worsening diabetes, hypertension and impotence. But this is not to say that on sighting a beautiful woman a man just develops heart attack on the spot, but constant contact and exposure to beautiful women over time is what could make cortisol level to rise to dangerously high levels to the extent of posing a threat to a man’s life.

An Abuja based psychologist , Rukayat Jubril says that naturally, when we see beautiful things we stop to look.

According to her, this is not particular to men alone because even when a woman sees a fellow woman that is very beautiful she stops to look and admire her. If a woman experiences this, then one should expect a more spontaneous reaction from the opposite sex.

"When a man sees a beautiful woman, what comes to his mind is an imagination of what she would look like without clothes. Again, he could get worried whether if he approaches her for a relationship she would accept", Rukayat pointed out.

Fear of rejection is what can easily trigger a heart attack , especially when a man is crazy about a particular woman. There is always this fear that he might be rejected. Living with the situation for a long period of time could eventually result in the cortisol level rising gradually until it gets too bad to trigger heart problems.

This is not to say that the heart starts malfunctioning as soon as a man sets his eyes on a beautiful woman. In a situation where this suddenly happens, then the man must have had an underlying critical heart condition, she stated.

Mindset has a great role to play in his situation. There are some men that are not moved at all when they get in contact with women while some on just seeing them get aroused. It all depends on individual, the psychologist concluded.

Ever wanted a bluetooth powered suitcase? Here's one!


Overpackers take note: this could be the invention that changes your life forever. Or it could also be the most gimmicky travel accessory you’ve ever seen.
The “Hop” as it’s been called, is a suitcase that you don’t have to lug through the airport. You don’t even need to pick it up, as it follows you wherever you go – a bit like a lost puppy.
The inventors behind it have developed a prototype with technology that locks onto the bluetooth signal on your phone and moves towards it.
If your mobile phone loses its signal, the suitcase locks itself and alerts you by vibrating your phone.
Perhaps the idea behind naming the suitcase “Hop” is that it could in theory replace the hotel bell hop by following you to your room.
We can see the Hop being useful for those who are less mobile, but then again having a suitcase on the loose isn’t the best way to keep your bag safe from prowling eyes.
If only it could pack your travelling clothes by itself and get in and out of a taxi but hey! this is a commendable innovation that will excite criminals especially those that lurk around airports & car parks looking out for unmonitored luggage.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Is your relationship worth fighting for?

Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are used trying to repair it, or “get it back”, while the best thing to do might be to look at things in a different perspective. Is the relationship worth fighting for or is it truly a lost cause.

There are a few things you can think about while trying to sort things through.

1.) Is your partner still in love or still interested in pursuing the relationship. Sometimes when we lose a love we tend to dwell on what used to be, not on what the relationship is currently about. Of course it was good in the beginning, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended up together. But that stage of the relationship is not always an accurate measure. Its best to look at what is currently happening and evaluate how or why the situation is the way it is at this moment. Sometimes we fall head over heals with someone, then if things go bad, the memories of good times dominate what is really happening at the current time. If both of you are willing to work on your problems you have a good shot at working things out. If not, you need to ask yourself “Are you in love with the memory of the way things used to be, or are you truly happy at this moment”.

2.) Do you realize if you do breakup the hurt will go away. There may be a lot of pain, resentment and jealousy right now, but trust me, if you are willing to move forward, it will pass. Ask yourself “Do I really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?” The answer should be “No”. If you’re up for the challenge, you will find love again. You deserve to be with someone who will love you back.

3.) Imagine what a mutually loving relationship with someone should feel like. Is it what you have now? If not, maybe your current partner isn’t capable of having that with you for whatever reason. Do you really want to stay and pass up the chance to find true love?

4.) Staying in a relationship for reasons other than love isn’t good for anyone. Some people, knowingly or unknowingly, stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons, such as having a roof over their heads, their bills are paid, they are afraid of being alone or a variety of other reasons. If this is you, you must realize you are a capable individual. Co-dependent relationships will not work. If you really want to lead a fulfilling life, take the steps to become self-sufficient, it can be a very empowering, incredible feeling.

5.) Are you assuming what your partner is or is not feeling? Have you communicated with your partner or have they communicated with you. Sometimes our “inner voices” tell us things that are not true. You may believe that because someone is angry with you, they don’t want to pursue the relationship any longer. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you may believe someone is sending you signals that they do want to be with you or that certain gestures have hidden meaning. In other words, we believe what we want to, not the reality of the situation. Open communication is the only way to resolve these issues and is a necessary part of a loving relationship.

6.) Are you willing to stay in a hurtful or abusive relationship until your partner breaks things off? Some people are so afraid of losing someone they will stay as long as possible no matter what the situation, or they simply are not strong enough to break up themselves.

Once you have seriously considered the above, you should have a pretty good idea where your relationship is headed. You need to be strong for yourself. Life does not end when a relationship does. If you are not happy and you are quite sure things are not going to work out, its time to move forward.

Just remember a couple of things. You deserve to be happy, no one person has the power to make or take your happiness. Only you control your happiness. If you need support seek out friends, family members or a professional. There are also plenty of self-help guides out there to guide you along the way, which ever path you choose.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Truths about life

They say life is what we make of it. By the end of this post, I hope to have helped you decide whether that statement is true or not.

There is no doubt that life has its ups and downs. However, how we deal with them can sometimes make all the difference. Today I want to share eight harsh truths that I've come to learn from life. There's also a message in each that I think we can all learn from, and when applied, will improve our lives infinitely.

Some of these lessons may be old-hat for you. If so, look for ways to refine the idea to ensure your getting the most out of it. On the other hand, you may completely disagree with an idea or two and that's great! Let us know your thoughts so we can all learn from each other.

1. Friends Come and Go
When I was in high school, I always imagined spending most of my life with the same people. Then when I realized I had to move to college, that all changed. Once again, I made some close college friends but left them all behind when I moved from the UK to South Africa.

Friends will always come and go in your life; even though I'm back in the UK now, all my friends are in university around the country and not exactly in meeting distance. It can be a hard thing to accept, but many of the friends you spend time with now, might not be around in the next few years.

Important Lesson: There are an abundance of amazing people out there for you to meet and build relationships with. If you don't have many friends, don't stress, there are literally billions of friendship possibilities.

2. You Won't Always Get What You Want
I remember one Christmas when the only thing I had asked for was some second hand turntables for DJ'ing. I didn't ask for anything else so I was pretty sure I would get them. However, they didn't come and I ended up having to save for 10 months on my own in order to purchase them.

You won't always get what you want in life: people are going to be late, people will let you down, items you want won't always be available.

Important Lesson: Don't look for happiness in material possessions and if things don't go your way, learn to accept them. Life's too short to stay miserable.

3. Many People Will Love You, but Many Will Not
Whether you are a celebrity, a charity worker or just a normal guy, there are going to be people that love you and what you do, but there's also going to be plenty people that don't like you. There are many possible reasons such as jealousy, similarities to them, or just not being someone's 'type'.

Important Lesson: Not everyone is always going to like you, and that's fine. If people want to spend time talking about you then that is their problem. You are perfect as you are. You shouldn't need everyone to like you to have some form of self-esteem.

4. Nobody Can Transform Your Life Like You Can
Wouldn't it be lovely if we didn't have to go up on stage, but we could just read a paragraph of a blog post and become a perfect public speaker? Or, wouldn't it be nice if our friends could do daring things, and we would benefit from them as well?

The support and help of others can only take you so far, you're going to have to do your own thing to make big changes in your life situation.

Important Lesson: Do things for yourself and learn to stand on your own two feet. People you rely on won't be around forever, and you don't want to have to use others as a crutch to get anywhere in life.

5. You Are Going to Fail
I built more than 7 websites before I created one that actually started making me any money. I even put hundreds of hours into my own company that I actually closed down last month. Whether it is exams, projects, companies, or even the odd pub quiz, there are times when you will fail to meet your goals.

As the saying goes - "Only those who are asleep make no mistakes".

Important Lesson: You can learn a lot from others, but it is your own failures that are going to teach you the most valuable lessons in life. Learn from your failures, embrace them, and use them to drive you on to success.

6. Rain Will Sometimes Cancel Play
On some occasions when you have your shorts on and you're ready for the beach, it's going to rain. Or, when you get to that first hole and you're ready to tee off - the clouds will open. Things aren't always going to go how you would like them to.

Important Lesson: Don't stress about the things that you can't control. Learn to live with things that happen. You can't change the past, but you can change how you react to things.

7. There May Be No Tomorrow
At least, not for you anyway. We never know what is around the corner, a car crash, a heart attack; heck...even the end of the world is possible. Let's face it, although we would all like to live till we are 70 years old, that's certainly not always the case. There will be one day that is our last.

Important Lesson: Make the most of each day. Make sure the people you care about actually know it, don't worry about little matters, just make sure you spend time doing the things you love.

8. Someone Else Will Always Have More
Whether it is money, partners, friends or even blog subscribers, there will always be areas where other people have more than you. That isn't to say you can't become abundant in whatever you want (i.e. someone always had more money than Warren Buffett until 2008 when he was noted to be the richest man in the world).

The wanting of more actually holds a very important lesson...

Important Lesson: Just because someone has 'more', that doesn't mean they are happy. Read the biography of any celebrity and they will tell you they enjoy their process of earning money, rather than what money can do to make them happy. In other words, focus on what you love, not what the thing you love can get you.

BONUS: Linking all the lessons here together is actually quite simple, and I can share the majority of what you need to know to enjoy life in a few simple bullet points:

* Live life for the moment

* Accept what is, even if things don't go your way

* Happiness is here, right now if you stop resisting and start accepting

Surprising relationship myths

There are hundreds of myths about relationships, according to Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, a Michigan clinical psychologist and author of "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great" (Delacorte Press, 2009). The problem with persistent myths is that they can erode a relationship's happiness, she said.

When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn't, frustration sets in. And "frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship," Orbuch said, and "it's directly tied to these myths."

That's why it's so critical to bust the below misconceptions. So without further ado, here are eight myths about relationships that might surprise you.

1. Myth: A good relationship means that you don't have to work at it.
Fact: "The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work," said Lisa Blum, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist in Pasadena and Los Angeles, who specializes in emotionally focused therapy with couples. She believes that our culture, education system and parenting styles don't prepare us for the fact that even good relationships take effort.

She likened a healthy relationship to a good garden. "It's a beautiful thing but you wouldn't expect it to thrive without a whole lot of labor and TLC."

But how do you know if you're working too hard on a relationship? One sign, according to Blum, is if you're feeling unhappy more than you're happy. In other words, are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it?

This unhappiness becomes less of a rough patch, and more like the "normal state of affairs," she said.

Another bad sign is if you're trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don't see the same level of effort on your partner's part. "There has to be some sense of 'we're trying really hard, both making changes and that's making a difference.'"

On the flip side, if both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time, then that's a good sign, Blum said.

2. Myth: If partners really love each other, they know each other's needs and feelings.
Fact: "It's a setup to expect your partner to be able to read your mind," Blum said — because when you anticipate that your partner will know your wants, that's essentially what you're doing. We develop this expectation as kids, she said. But "as adults, we're always responsible for communicating our feelings and needs."

And once you've communicated your needs and feelings, "a better measure of the quality of your relationship" is whether your partner actually listens to your words.

3. Myth: If you're truly in love, passion will never fade.
Fact: Thanks to movies and romantic novels, we assume that if we genuinely love someone, "the passion, urging and loving" never go away. And if they do disappear, then "it must not be the right relationship" or "our relationship [must be] in trouble," Orbuch said. However, passion naturally diminishes in all relationships.

Daily routines are one of the culprits, Blum said. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples have less and less time and energy for each other.

But this doesn't mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion. Blum sees many relationships where passion is alive and well. "Passionate sex is a byproduct of sustained emotional intimacy along with a continuing sense of adventure and exploration and sense of playfulness." Orbuch also has emphasized the importance of couples doing new things to perk up their relationships.

And when it comes to passion-squashing routines, Blum suggested couples ask themselves: "How do we tame our lives sufficiently that we can make time for each other and have energy left for each other?"

4. Myth: Having a child will strengthen your relationship or marriage.
Fact: Studies have shown that relationship happiness actually decreases with every child, she said. This doesn't mean that you start loving each other less or that you won't bond at all over your child, Orbuch said. But the mounting challenges can complicate relationships.

Having realistic expectations helps couples prepare themselves for their new roles, she said. When you think that a child will improve your relationship, it only adds to the complications.

As Orbuch said, "'should' statements don't allow you to see what the other person is doing to strengthen and manage the relationship," and these expectations "cloud your judgment." She recommended planning ahead and talking about the changes that will occur when you have your first child or more kids.

5. Myth: Jealousy is a sign of true love and caring.
Fact: Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof), she said. Take the following example: If you have a jealous partner, you might try to show them how much you care so they don't get jealous. But you soon realize that any amount of caring isn't a cure for their jealous reactions.

While you can be supportive, according to Orbuch, your partner must work on their insecurity issues on their own. "No matter what you do, you can't make your partner feel more secure" or "change their self-confidence."

Trying to make your partner jealous also can backfire. While men and women are just as likely to experience jealousy, their reactions differ. Men either get very defensive or angry, believing that the relationship isn't worth it, Orbuch said. Women, on the other hand, respond by trying to improve the relationship or themselves.

6. Myth: Fights ruin relationships.
Fact: In actuality, what ruins relationships is not resolving your fights, Blum said. "Fights can be really healthy, and an important form of communication and clearing the air."

Also, the type of fight a couple has plays a role. Not surprisingly, nasty, scornful or condescending fights that leave couples resolution-less and not talking for days damage the relationship. Productive conflicts that help the relationship end with "some mutual decision about how to manage this disagreement," Blum said. (Here's help on improving your communication and becoming a better listener and speaker.)

7. Myth: In order for the relationship to be successful, the other partner must change.
Fact: Many times we're very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how we can become better partners. Instead, we demand that our partners make such and such changes.

Unless, there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity, Blum said, it takes two to make changes.

But even more than that, it's up to you to figure out what you can do. While this seems "simple and obvious," 100 percent of the couples Blum sees point the finger.

"It's a profound mental shift to look at 'what can I do' [and] 'what changes can I make.'"

8. Myth: Couples therapy means your relationship is really in trouble.
Fact: By the time couples seek therapy, this may be true, but changing this mindset is key. Most couples seek therapy "when they've been suffering for a really long time," Blum said. "What elements were good in the relationship are destroyed."

Instead, Blum suggested that people view couples therapy as preventative. This way, a couple comes in when they've been stuck on one or two conflicts for a few months, "not five or six over the last 10 years."

Best date ideas this fall!

Dating doesn't have to cost you much! Everything you need is love, some free time and creativity. We bring
you best cheap dating ideas this fall!

1. Sunday Brunch. Enjoy a lazy Sunday morning with a great brunch. After you stuff your faces, wind down and take a stroll while getting to know each other again. Ask each other silly or serious questions, share your aspirations, or just be silent and comfortable in each others' presence.

2. Visit a Cozy Bed & Breakfast. After all that driving, perhaps you're in the mood for a little R&R at a quaint B&B. Just rent out one night for the two of you and enjoy your little getaway from home. Taking small trips away with your significant other is a true test to how strong your relationship is.
3. Go Wine-Tasting. Crisp fall weather presents the perfect setting for a romantic wine tasting experience. Good wine and good company will have you toasty in no time! Look up deals online for wine-tasting opportunities.  

4. Visit a Farmer's Market. Choosing fresh produce straight from the harvest is more fun than you might think. Gather up all the fresh ingredients you'll need to cook some fall-inspired comfort food at home to enjoy together.


5. Take a drive. Looking for a little fall fun and adventure? Take a scenic drive out to the beautiful countryside without a destination in mind.

6.  Take a stroll. A casual stroll through the park on a crisp autumn day is the perfect backdrop for romance.

7. Take a Color Hike. Admire the breathtaking foliage of autumn with a nature color hike. Press a few fall leaves as a memento of your special day together.  

8. Carve pumpkins. Get your hands dirty and design a pumpkin together! Better yet, make it a competition!

9.  Get baking. Fall is the perfect time to heat things up! Cook up a little romance in the kitchen while you try your hand at baking delicious autumnal flavors.
10.  Have a picnic. Pack a romantic picnic lunch and enjoy the great outdoors.



Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Ten Signs Of A Good Relationship


1. You feel good- about him, about yourself, about life. Being with him has given you a more positive outlook on life and love. There is no doubt, no pessimism, no feeling of insecurity.

2.You look forward to seeing him. You want to spend time together, and don’t find yourself looking for excuses to be alone or spend time with other people instead. You are happy just sitting together reading a paper.

3. You respect each other. You are offended if someone badmouths your guy, you don’t allow people to insult him, and you don’t join in on spouse-bashing when others complain about their significant other. On the contrary, you speak well of him and think well of him, and have confidence he does likewise.

4.You care about each others feelings, thoughts, and interests. You ask each other for advice and consider each other when making decisions. You don’t think as an individual anymore, you think about how things affect you both.

5. You accept each other. You don’t have a list of things to fix about him, but appreciate what is wonderful about your love and focus on the wonderful ways he adds to your life.

6. You fight fair. There is no name calling or belitting. You both state your side, and compromise. You’d rather lose the battle than the relationship, and there are no issues so serious that are worth breaking up over because you don’t let that happen. You do not push your partner to the wall by being so disrespectful that it forces them to either break up with you or lose their dignity by staying.

7. You can see a future together. You can see traveling together, see him holding your babies, see dancing together at 90. You can see a full and happy life.

8. You protect each other. You don’t allow others to attack your mate, you surely don’t hurt her, and you don’t allow her to hurt herself.

9. You don’t measure each other to past relationships, keep score of who does more, or compare each other to people you could be with instead. You are complete with each other, your relationship is full, you don’t even care about other men or women.

10. You feel safe. You’re not afraid of losing your partner, or being hurt by your partner. You don’t worry about what he’s doing when you aren’t together, and when you have something to say you aren’t worried they will hurt or attack you. You feel secure and loved.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Questions to ask your partner before you get married


Don’t make that mistake. Don’t get married without knowing your future spouse’s thoughts on these issues that can kill a marriage.
Compromise is usually not an option if the two of you disagree on these issues that can be deal breakers.
1. Do you want to have children?
It is a huge red flag in your relationship if you and your future spouse can not agree on whether to have children or not.
Thinking that you can deal with this issue later in your marriage is a mistake.
Making a decision to have a baby when one parent doesn’t want to have children is not fair to the child or to your marriage.
2. Can we talk about money?
The mechanics of how the two of you will handle your finances really isn’t the issue. Many couples in successful  marriages have separate checking accounts and many couples in successful marriages have one account.
The issue is whether or not the two of you can calmly and practically talk about money.
If how your money is spent, or saved, or not spent is an issue before you get married, it will be an even bigger issue after your wedding.
If your future spouse doesn’t want to talk about money, or doesn’t think talking about money is important, postpone your wedding until this issue is solved.
3. Can we talk about sex?
There is no way of predicting the future when it comes to an individual’s sexual libido.
However, if the two of you are already having sexual issues, you shouldn’t get married until the issues are settled.
Differences in sexual frequency, desire, preferences, fantasies, masturbation, pornography, expectations, etc. will tear the two of you apart. If you and your partner are unable to talk about the issues, or if your future spouse doesn’t see any real problem, or doesn’t want to talk about sex with you, cancel the wedding.
4. How much time will we spend with our in-laws?
They may be wonderful people who love you both, but your in-laws should not be allowed to interfere in your marriage relationship.
If either one of you will not set boundaries with your own parents when it comes to visits, phone calls, finances, children, etc., the problem with your in-laws will only worsen.
5. Will you clean the toilet?
If the answer is “no” or “why should I?” or “Isn’t that your job?”, you have several options.

  • You can hire someone to do the chores that neither of you wants to do.
  • You can accept that you will be doing 90% of the chores around the house.
  • You can discuss the importance of sharing the household chores together.
If none of these options work out, call off the wedding. This is another one of those issues that won’t suddenly get better after you sign the marriage license.
6. How do you want to spend our days off?
The answer to this question will reveal several things.

  • How your future spouse likes to spend free time.
  • The value your future spouse places on having fun together.
  • Whether or not you will come first before work.
Balancing work and fun and family time and personal time is not easy.
Without talking about the time aspect of your life together, you may find yourself grumbling because your spouse is spending what you consider to be too much time with old friends and extended family, or on hobbies, sports, the computer, etc.
Living a balanced life together will create the time you both need, individually and together, for vacations, quiet time, and fun time.
7. How often do you drink?
The answer to this question, or to questions about smoking cigarettes or using drugs, will reveal whether or not your future spouse has a potential addiction problem which could end up not only threatening your marriage but could also put you in legal and financial jeopardy.
8. Have you ever hit someone?
If your future spouse has anger management issues, or tries to control who you see and what you do, or is causing you to walk on egg shells, cancel your wedding.
These are signs of a potentially abusive personality. Don’t think you can “save” him or her. You can’t. This is a problem that needs professional counseling.
9. Do you think it is important to be faithful to one another?
Open marriage and swinging is okay for some married couples, but most want and prefer a monogamous relationship. If your future spouse and you have differing opinions on what cheating is or isn’t, don’t get married until this issue has been discussed.
10. What do you think we’ll be doing in thirty or forty years?
If your future spouse can’t answer this or won’t answer this, then the two of you need to talk about long-lasting marriage expectations.
Why marry someone who doesn’t think your marriage will last?

Tips to know if your partner is cheating

Despite popular belief, most lying and cheating does not get discovered because a suspicious spouse is good at interrogating a partner (e.g., where were you? who were you with? etc.).

Typically, cheating spouses get caught in one of two ways:

Accidental Discovery:

In most cases, deception and infidelity are uncovered by mistake (see, Park, Levine, McCornack, Morrison and Ferrara). A husband or wife decides to come home from work early, a third party inadvertently reveals the truth, an unpaid parking ticket reveals a spouse's true whereabouts, an e-mail exchange is accidentally sent to the wrong person, and so on.

Monitoring a Spouse:

Surveillance, by comparison, is an attempt to discover the truth by monitoring a spouse’s behavior. If you're dealing with a lying and/or cheating spouse, some type of surveillance is almost always needed.

While monitoring a spouse tends to be the most effective way to find what is going on in a relationships, spying on a spouse can also cause problems. Is it ethical to monitor a husband or wife without his or her knowledge?

On the other hand, if your dealing with a lying and/or cheating partner, how do you address the problem until the truth is out in the open? Fixing problems requires a full accounting and acknowledgment of the issues involved.

Practical Tips for Catching Lying and Cheating:
Keep a journal of your spouse’s reported activities. Write down the times, dates, places, other people involved, excuses given, etc. Your journal will become invaluable as you compare what’s said with phone bills, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, talk to other people, etc. A cheating spouse is likely to change his or her story, or question your memory, so keeping a record of everything is critical.
Keep track of all incoming phone calls. Record the time and number of all calls.
Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected times, or make announcements about having to work late, but then come home early, etc.
Keep track of your spouse’s mileage, receipts, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, phone records, etc.
If you can, check your spouse’s call log. Look for an unusual amount of phone calls. Keep in mind that cheating spouses often store their lover’s phone number under someone else’s name: a friend, a co-worker, etc.
You can also purchase surveillance equipment (hidden cameras and voice activated recorders) or download computer monitoring software (keylogger) which will make it easier for you to monitor your spouse's activities. Using such equipment can, however, can raise some legal issues (see, surveillance issues).
Never confront your spouse until you're certain that you have enough evidence to make your case. And never reveal all of your evidence at once. Most cheating spouses will try to concoct a story to fit the evidence presented (for example, see husband won't confess). But, if you withhold some evidence, and let your spouse create a story, it gives you the opportunity to use the remaining evidence as leverage. And by strategically withholding evidence, your spouse will start to question exactly how much you know, increasing the odds that he or she will tell you the truth.

Overall, if you find anything suspicious, do not confront your spouse until you're certain that you have enough evidence to get a confession.

And again, think for a minute about how your spouse might try to dismiss your accusations (e.g., we were just joking around, I was just flirting, it was a misunderstanding, we are just friends, nothing happened, etc.). If you can anticipate how your spouse is likely to respond, you can try to gather the evidence you need to counter what he or she says.

Finally, listed below are several more techniques, products, and services designed to help you catch a lying and cheating spouse.

Resources and Information for Catching a Lying, Cheating Husband or Wife:
Computer Monitoring Software - allows you to see everything your spouse does online. Establish a record of all online activities.
GPS Tracking Devices for Infidelity - purchase a global positioning satellite device which can track a vehicle's exact location 24 hours a day.
Forensic Infidelity Tests - test samples of your spouse's clothing for biological evidence of cheating.
Home Surveillance Equipment - hidden cameras and voice activated recording devices can be purchased in every shape and size imaginable.
Comprehensive Background Checks - do you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is lying to you about the past? A background check can veal a lot about a person's past.
Private Investigators - hiring a licensed investigator is the quickest and most effective way to discover the truth.

In most cases, the options listed above are very effective when trying to discover the truth about a cheating spouse. If, however, none of those options work for you, several more options are provided below. Hopefully, you can find a technique that will work in your specific situation.

Most Arrogant Nations on Earth

Based on votes by people, the following nationalities have been voted the most arrogant nationalities in the world. It could be a stereotype anyway as what one man considers as being arrogant is what another terms as self-confidence or whatever. I've been able to compile a list bringing into considerations views and perspectives of people. Here's how the poll goes

1. Americans: Research shows Americans won the top of the spot from the French who were deemed the most arrogant especially in the Napoleon days. Traits include: Jingoism: we're the best country in the world, God bless America and no place else, acting like the world police and killing innocent civilians at war, completely oblivious to everything happening around them even though they have a major effect and Imperialism.

2. France: Views and opinions show the French are known to exude superiority. Trying to force the French language on everyone, forgetting that the Napoleon era is gone and the universal English language has fast taken over the world. A survey by Expedia reveals they come across as penny-pinching, impolite, inattentive to local customs and least ready to try a new language.

3. England: Even though England has been on a steady decline for the past couple years, the English are effortlessly keeping up appearances. What other developed nation has a flourishing royalty like England in 2012? Reasons for the English arrogance include hating on the French, over-estimating their importance, raping all the resources from their former colonies (can't blame them, innit) and ''stealing'' the Falklands.

4. Israel: Yes, Israel. Ask them in the middle east and they'll tell you Israel is the most arrogant nation in the world. Other people don't see it that way but they still think Israelis are arrogant anyways. Traits include defying UN resolutions (who's UN really?), checkpoint mania, having more amnesty international warnings than any other country.

5. China: They could be diminutive but don't judge them by their size. Chinese people are deemed arrogant even if they strike you as being small in size. Traits are they love to bully small nations in Asia, torturing anyone who disagrees with the communist government and I heard they just gave Australia an ultimatum: be our friend or America's...lol

6. Russia: As if cursing and swearing isn't enough, Russians have managed to get on the list of arrogant nationalities. Traits are : flying bombers along other countries' borders, taunting the US, sending people to gulags and refusing to dress well as tourists...hahaha.

7. Germany: As someone puts it, Germans are outstandingly friendly and outstandingly arrogant. Although Germans have given the world BMW and they still play the big brother role in Europe, it doesn't call for arrogance. Traits include clinical detachment, ruthlessness and Aryan superiority.

8. Iran: Most westerners will agree to this without doubts or reservations. Iran has with utter disregard  trampled on everything the West considers sacred. They have been able to hold the U.S. and Israel at bay so far. Traits are ''outdoing'' the U.S. on democracy, waving oil in U.S.A's face (we all know how much Uncle Sam's governments love oil) and calling for the destruction of Israel. We still don't understand how a country can call for the destruction of another sovereign country. It just beats us!

9. Japan: It's hard to tell on the Japs because they appear so calm and welcoming on the surface but buried deep within is a total resentment for strangers. Traits include secretly hating on all foreigners and being OPENLY, incredibly racist.

10. Vatican: It's the smallest sovereign country in the world. Views on the Vatican show the arrogance traits are telling people they are going to hell, turning religion into a business (sounds much like Nigeria) and hiding pedophile priests with impunity.

There are other views on other countries like Greeks considering racism against Albanians and Turks a norm, Norway: everything for Norway, Swedes thinking they are superior to everyone while they never accomplish anything and mocking other countries. There'll be a continuation of the most arrogant nationalities sometime soon.


How to Drive Massive Youtube Traffic to Your Site


What are the secrets of driving huge traffic from Youtube to your site? Video is a very engaging format. You can get people to watch 20-30 minutes of your video when they would never spend 20-30 minutes reading content in your website.

Youtube Videos Get Traffic

Some media reports suggest that  an average American watches over 4hrs of television every day; more than 70% of all web visitors watch online video; and over 50% online traffic is now from videos. So, if you are not creating and distributing videos, you are missing huge amount of traffic.
Let us talk about Youtube in this article. Do you know that -
  1. Youtube went from 0 to 4,000,000,000 monthly visitors in just 3 months!
  2. Youtube has made hundreds and thousands of people famous.
  3. Each and everyday more than 80,000 videos are uploaded.
  4. It gets around two hundred million clicks daily.
  5. Average Youtube visitor spends 27 minutes watching video every single day.
What does this mean to our marketers?
There is a huge amount of traffic ready to be tapped in Youtube. Now how do you do that?

Quick Youtube Video Tips

Follow these tips while creating videos -
  1. Your videos must be short. Not more than 3 to 4 minutes.
  2. Place your web site URL at the bottom of your videos.
  3. Think of ways to make your videos go viral. Something very interesting. It could be your own story, a demonstration of your product or a blog contest.
  4. Include your keyword phrase twice in your title. It can significantly increase your rankings.
  5. While distributing your video, use different titles to different video directories, so that you can rank the same video for a bunch of keywords.
  6. If you ever observed, Youtube thumbnail image comes from the middle of the video. So make sure that you place an attractive image in the middle of your video.

YouTube Video Promotion Strategies

Here are few tricks you can implement to drive traffic from Youtube.
  1. Post video responses: Choose 10 -20 popular videos. Go to each of the video, scroll down, you see “video responses” tab. Click on “post a video response”, and submit your video. Make sure that you submit only a related video. This will put your video under 1000′s of visitors who visit the most popular videos. This technique alone can bring you thousands of visitors to your site.
  2. Statistics and Data section: In every video page, you see a “Statistics and Data” section. This section lists the websites that sent most number of visitors to the video along with the number of views. Now, go to each of these websites and try to submit your videos too. Most of the sites listed under this section allow people to upload videos. If not, you can send a friendly email to the site admin requesting him to embed your video.
  3. Tags: Find the most popular videos that belong to your niche and pick up the tags used in this video. You can find the tags under the “More info” section of a video. Now, use the same tags to your video. This strategy help you get listed under the “Related Videos” section of popular videos.
At massive youtube, we can help you drive massive traffic to your video click here for your options
http://www.massiveutubeviews.com